On this episode, Amanda writes a tale that devolves into a dissection of tragedy and morality, which of course spirals into a spirited discussion on where exactly our empathy ends. And, of course, food.
Welcome to Smirk. A podcast that covers society and culture through a storytelling lens. Part creative writing, part discussion, and always interesting. Each week our hosts brings a story to the show, a story they wrote themselves, which is immediately followed by discussion on the author’s moral or theme. These stories can cover any topic the host wants to discuss, it can be lighthearted or more serious. No one but the author knows if these tales are truth or fiction, and part of the fun is guessing while you’re listening before the reality is made clear. We want to hear from you! If you want to share YOUR story, join the conversation by writing in to mystory@smirkpodcast.com, and include your moral, or you can let us guess at it. This is the podcast that looks at truth, fiction, and reality. With a Smirk. Don’t forget to subscribe to Smirk and share the show with your friends!
Want to read Amanda’s story “This Love Is On Fire” in full? Think you can identify the moral or theme for this episode? Read it below, and then take a listen to the podcast.
This Love Is On Fire
Fifteen days I’ve been sittin’ in here. It’s cold. I can’t talk to anyone. I’m hungry and I’m tired. It’s unfair… what happened to me. I don’t deserve this.
Reporter: Why do you say that?
It wasn’t my fault. Since when do you get treated like a criminal for protecting yourself? I didn’t know this was going to happen, I was protecting myself.
Reporter: Why did you need to protect yourself?
Because they were coming after me! They were going to hurt me. I mean, what would you do if you saw your family lying in blood, hardly recognizable?
Reporter: That sounds really scary. I understand you felt scared. What did you do when you found them?
I WAS scared. I was gonna be next, I knew that much. I saw my wife first, I went to her and screamed, I tried to help her, I was holding her and I went to get up to call the police and she grabbed me before she took her last breath.
Reporter: And then what’d you do?
I didn’t see my kids, and Jess was always with the kids. So I ran to their room and… they were just lying there. Covered in blood. I held them both close, but there was nothing I could do. It was too late for all three of them. I knew I was next, so I went back to the living room —
Reporter: Where your wife was?
Yes, that’s where Jess was. And I grabbed the fire poker off the floor.
Reporter: So, it was already on the floor?
I guess so.
Reporter: So what happened after you grabbed the poker? Is that when your alleged attacker came in?
I told you they were there already, they must’ve come back or been hiding or somethin’. It was just a minute after I grabbed the poker to protect myself, and they came over screaming at me, running at me with a gun!
Reporter: Were they running towards you because you were standing near your wife?
I already told you, they wanted to hurt me next. They were coming after ME.
Reporter: Okay. So what happened after they ran towards you?
What else? I protected myself. I hit them until they stopped.
Reporter: I assume you’re aware of the body’s condition?
Yeah.
Reporter: So, you were being attacked, but they did not have a weapon, is that correct?
I didn’t know that at the time. I saw Jess and Alex and Allie and it was dark and they were coming at me and I just reacted, you know?
Reporter: Sure – I can understand that. Back to the body, though. The report indicates that there were 23 impact points from the fire poker. Why didn’t you stop?
I just kept going till they stopped. I didn’t want to be next.
Reporter: Okay. So just a few more things. Are you aware of Dr. Symanski’s findings? Regarding your psychiatric evaluation
I know what he THINKS, yeah.
Reporter: And what is that?
He thinks that I was seeing things. That it wasn’t real. That I was the one who killed my family. *scoffs*
Reporter: What do you make of that?
I would never hurt my family. I love my family! You don’t get to question that!
Reporter: I’m not – I believe you love them. And I believe you believe this. But is there any possibility that what you believed to be reality isn’t what happened?
That isn’t what happened.
Reporter: Can I read to you the report I received?
(tongue click, sighs) Fine.
Reporter: “On February 13th at approximately 8:37 p.m., the suspect entered the home where three of the victims, one adult and two children, were. Victims 1 and 2 were the suspect’s children, ages 4 and 6, who were in their beds at the time of the incident. Both victims suffered severe head and facial trauma and CSU found two holes in the bedroom walls matching the size of the two victims. Findings indicate suspect repeatedly threw the victims into the wall head first and then placed them back into their beds. Suspect then moved on to victim 3, suspect’s wife, who was near the fireplace in the home. Suspect approached the victim and used a sharp object identified as a fire iron to attack the victim. Coroner’s reports indicate the hot fire iron went through the victim’s head near the left eye. Neighbors, husband and wife, reported hearing possible screams around approximately 8:38 p.m. and then again at 8:41 p.m. and then once more at 8:45 p.m. After the third scream, the neighbors who had a rapport with the victim and suspect’s family ran over to check on the family. The wife reports that upon her husband entering the home where the door was slightly cracked and unlocked, the suspect was standing with a weapon in his hand next to the victim’s body. The neighbor reports her husband ran at the suspect screaming to put it down, holding a handgun. At this time, she was still standing partly outside and the suspect ran at the neighbor husband with the fire iron and stabbed him repeatedly. The neighbor wife reportedly ran, screaming, and called 911”
–(Gets mad and yelling) I DIDN’T DO IT! I DIDNT DO IT! LET ME OUT! GUARDS! LET ME OUT!